"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”

Real life...

Pablo: You know, it wouldn't kill you to get me a job. Hell, I'm a minority. You can hire me to clean your apartment every week. And I'll only charge you $300 a week. I wonder why more people don't hire me to do that.

indy: Aww, how sweet. You must not have been in the country for too long. You are overpriced and, anyway, I know you'd steal. I'd catch you on the nanny cam, and then there'd be a confrontation. Nobody wants that. Maybe you should start stripping.

Pablo: I'm afraid I'd fall off the stage and land on a drag queen. Then, chaos would ensue.

indy: If that happened, I'd tip so big.

Hello Again!

Wow. It's been a while, hasn't it? That's because when I was visiting indygirl last summer, I choked to death on a tofu ball. She was devastated. So devastated, in fact, that she held a seance and revived me almost a year later. There was a movie based on it, and Shelley Long played the part of the whacky, yet sincere and lovable, Pablo. You should check it out. TOTALLY worth your time.

So, things are good. I just finished my first year of college with a 4.0 GPA. indygirl graduated! YAY!!! I just turned 30. I'm about to start Salsa lessons with Leslie. I'm learning to play the piano. I've been dating someone, recently, but that's nunya bidnez! Let's see....what else? Oh, I've also survived an entire year as Timmy's roommate. I think I may be the strongest person in the universe to have made it that long. I'm also still VERY pretty. So, yeah. Things are good.

Tim Won't Stop Wearing My Clothes!

Oh Hell Naw

Bitch please. YOU'LL NEVER BE BABY JESSICA! NEVER!

I Should Have Stayed In School

Uh oh. I'm starting to realize that I don't know how to write for college classes. I have two essays due very soon and I've never actually written an essay. I dropped out of high school when I was 17 years old and finished the last year and half in night classes. Night school was nothing more than taking simple classes to obtain enough credits to graduate. I never took any of the college prep courses that are usually required during the last two years of high school. I never took any of the English Composition classes; I never made it past Algebra and Biology. Now, after 12 years, I'm noticing that I never prepared myself for college writing, math, or science. That is why I'm taking an Introduction to Composition class so I can try to learn how to write. However, I didn't expect to have to write essays for a computer class.

I really, really wish I had finished high school and started college when I was 18 or 19 years old. It's also much more difficult to comprehend new facts and ideas than I remember it being when I was a kid. I'm a little worried because I'm actually starting out with very easy classes....maybe even remedial classes. I can't imagine taking "real" classes. For the first time, I'm feeling a little intimidated. I've already spent two hours this morning trying to write one paragraph....and I have yet to write a complete sentence.

It's Raining Outside SBK

I couldn't come up with anything to match the weather.

El Chupacabra!

"...the roadkill she found last month outside her ranch was a new one even for her, worth putting in a freezer hidden from curious onlookers: Canion believes she may have the head of the mythical, bloodsucking chupacabra..." Story.

I'm pretty sure los chupacabras are mammals too. Just sayin.

Well?

Don't leave Jarvis waiting for your SBK.

Drunk, Mean, and Just Plain Wacky

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT mix too much beer and wine. I always find these things out the hard way. I was ready to get trashed on Friday, which is not a big deal. However, I drank a lot of beer and then chased it with a bottle and a half of red wine. indygirl got drunk, too! However, in my drunkenness, I beat Timmy with his own take-out and pet indygirl like a dog.

I've been forgiven for both, so it's okay.

No Photoshop Necessary

From this article on Discovery.com - Seriously

SBK Again! I Know You've Been Yearning

Hope you speak German.

That's Right, Dummies!

This is what my very first quiz looks like, now. It turns out that I'm not only super cool but I'm also ultra smart. Finally, people will take me seriously. I'm no longer just another pretty face.

Go Away

This is not a friendly face. Ignore the hat. This cat hates you.

Back To School

Oh, Jesus Fucking Christ. I'm going back to school, starting tomorrow evening. I don't even have my books. I can't say that I'm excited about being in school. I'm happy to be doing it and getting it done but I've never liked school. And, don't give me that "you need to change your attitude" bullshit. If someone doesn't like school, they just don't. However, I was always a decent student, so it shouldn't be that bad.

I'm very well-rested today and in a good mood. WTF? I think hell may be freezing over.

I'm also still not into this whole blogging this, if you couldn't tell.

Can I Have a Mug of the Water?

... this would be the literal translation of one episode of my bad French.

Things I saw on vacation:

• Fashionable clothes everywhere - boys get ready for tight ankle jeans... they're coming like it or not
• Millions of pidgeons
• Serge Gainsbourg, Jean-Paul Sartre, and Simone de Beauvoir's gravesites

Things I didn't see on vacation:

• Fat people
• Gangsters/thugs working at airline counters
• Cheeseburgers

Shut The Hell Up, You Mother Fucking Drama Queen

Let's forget about my previous posts. I was going through some shit and still am, but who cares? However, I'm not dedicating myself to blogging every Tuesday and Thursday. I'll do it when I can and when I want. Why the fuck am I explaining this to you?

Anyway, I'm soooo mad at Timmy. He made me drunk, last night! I'm still feeling like dog shit. I look and feel like shit. I wonder how long it will take until it really catches up to me and makes me look like a scary old man. Oh, who cares?

I think I'm still a little drunk.

Gone Fishin'

OK - not literally. But I am going to France. The Farmer and I will return on 08/20. Too bad Pablo hates you or else he could blog while I'm gone.

SBK In Yo Face

Why Do All The Good Ones Turn Ugly?

First it was Jack White. He totally fell apart, breaking my heart along the way.

And now it's my beloved Carlos D. Why? WHY?

When I loved him:

Now:

Seriously dude! What the fuck is that? How did he simultaneously age AND go back in time to 1874?


Luckily I was still able to enjoy the rest of the Interpol eye-candy at the show last night!

If Pablo Were A Weatherman*

WRTV6 News

*post renamed appropriately

Sad Song SBK

... Because Pablo is so emo lately

Adios!

Well, this is goodbye. Sorry, but I just can't blog, anymore. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Everything is a mess. And, I do mean everything. Besides, I don't even know if I'll be able to blog after this week. So, even if I wanted to, which I don't, I couldn't. I cannot name one good thing in life right now. Positive thinking doesn't work. I tried it. It failed. There is no secret. When I am like this, in this dark place, I can't entertain with a blog. There's no chance of it.

I have no idea what is going to happen in the next few months...but I doubt I will be back on blogs. It was very nice knowing all of you and it was a lot of fun. I wish everyone the best of luck.

Goodbye.

Because Pablo Is So Bitter

YOU GET MAMMALS MOTHERFUCKERS, MAMMALS!
YEAH!

Everything Happens For A Reason

No, it doesn't. Sometimes, things just fucking happen for no good reason, at all. I hate that saying. I don't believe it. People say that when bad things happen so you'll "look on the bright side" or whatever. I do not believe the bad things in my life "happened for a reason". They happened because I was stupid and made stupid mistakes. That's why life sucks.

The only saying I hate more than that one is "God never gives you more than you can handle". WTF? Stupid.

I Hate That...

... ever since the Aerosmith/Run DMC "Walk This Way" video, Steven Tyler became the representative white person to black folks all over the world.